Days 4-5 of Martha’s Month

Monday, April 4th

Clean out gutters

Step 1: Try to remember what shape my gutters are even in

Step 2: Briefly consider getting on top of my front porch roof and using a broom or something.

Step 3: Realize that that sound outside is intense wind.

Step 4: Ask around for gutter cleaner reference.

Clean out gutters: check!

Weight training

Listen, I do Pilates on Wednesdays. WEDNESDAYS, Martha.

Tuesday, April 5th

Bring fresh eggs into the office

I actually know this is a thing that Martha does every year, thanks to being a Martha Stewart Living subscriber since I was embarrassingly young. No one needs to spend their 20s making cakes. Live it up, 25-year-olds, you can worry about your place later.

I do not have chickens from which to yank eggs, so I brought the next best thing: my mouse-killing skills. I have now killed three mice with traps, and a rodent-free office is something that puts a mere egg-giver to shame.


In an effort to save money this month, I have opted to do Pocket Yoga.

Guys! Pocket Yoga is an app that’s totally good, even if the voice does say things like “Exheeyale” and even if it does end up going super fast. Also, I miss the idea that my yoga instructor maybe cares about me a little bit, even though that’s probably a fantasy. Although, last time I went to an actual yoga class, my favorite yoga instructor gave me a smooth stone that I still keep in my jacket pocket and mess with when I need calming.

Anyway, Pocket Yoga is worth your $3. I enjoy it very much, and it’s much more advanced than I assumed it would be.

Things I did today that maybe Martha didn’t:

  1. Activated water kefir grains
  2. Refilled my castille soap
  3. Covered seedlings because of very low temperatures



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