Aug 08 Cookie of the Month – No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal Bars

Verdict: Kind of Marthable
Real person alterations: 1

Ugh, I’m so disgusted with myself at how long it took me to post this, even though I made it like a month ago. I mean, the September 08 issue is already out and dogeared, and here I am just getting around to writing three paragraphs about some cookies I made. Martha would have written three books, fired sixteen people, bought four houses, and mixed together her own signature color of boot polish by now.

But I guess that’s the idea, right? It’s not just about figuring out whether or not these things in Martha Stewart Living can be done but also to explore how totally intimidating it is to have to actually do all of them, take pictures, and jot something down about it all.

It’s all so difficult when you have a job to do and weddings to attend and apartments to clean and cats to feed and boxes of Target wine to drink. Yet somehow, SOMEHOW, I managed to pull together these No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal Bars, took them to a party, got polite results, and decided they were mediocre.

The one ingredient in these otherwise pretty easy bars (although I’d rather use an oven than have to use five thousand pots) that I had trouble with — and that I always have trouble with — is “chocolate wafers.” Damn chocolate wafers! Every time something calls for chocolate wafers, I get angry. Not at Martha, really, but at my grocery stores. Chocolate wafers seem like such a simple thing to stock. Nabisco makes them, and aren’t they based in this town? But no, nothing. So I always end up just buying chocolate graham crackers, which works OK when I’m using them for something like a crust, but in a situation like these bars, I think it just made them dry and crumbly, where it should have been cookie-like.

Anyway, of course I ended up finding the chocolate wafers a week later in a random sundae-topping display at Kroger. I bought a box immediately to hang on to just in case Martha comes knocking with a recipe demand. I’d make these again with the wafers, but…I just don’t feel like it. They require two kinds of peanut butter (probably unnecessary), and I’m tired of chocolate. Plus I’m too busy stressing about September’s masochistic dessert of the month. More to follow.

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